TPITM

My Wonderful Doctor I feel sorry for my doctor because there isn't anything more that she can do for me.  We have now tried all the medications available and we are trying one more. I hope that she will know that I appreciate everything she had done for me once I'm gone.  I hope I can find a way to letter know in my letter to her. All Pain, No Gain There is plenty of pain, but I'm not seeing the up side. There must be an upside to this pain and I'm talking something other than making me a stronger person.  If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger... well this damn pain is going to kill.  Where is the gain in that?

So how do you say goodbye?  A letter, and email, a video? When do you send the goodbye with any of these options? When The when seems pretty simple.  It has to be after you are gone.  You don't want people worrying about trying to stop you.  If they panic and rush to your aid, they may hurt themselves.  That's not the goal. A time delayed email with or without a link to a video is my first plan..  You could also use Canada Post and mail it on the day you intend to end things. The problem with regular mail is if you fail or change your mind.  Or if the location is unavailable when you decide to go.  You can't un-send regular mail. An email can be set to send the following day.  If anything goes wrong with you plan then you can stop the email from being sent and nobody will know of your plan.  That leaves you free to try again another day. What to Say Thank you I have a long list of people that have tried to help me.  Almost all of them have been ve

I have had plenty of time to think about this and I now have a clear path. When I'm satisfied that I've tried everything to fix my back, stop the pain, or even find a way to reduce the pain from time to time and still don't have an answer then I'll stop the pain. Taking my own life will be the only option.  I have a few options left and I'm still looking for new things to try.  But I'm almost out of energy. Physio gets a couple more months, I have a pain management clinic to visit and then unless I find something new I'll have to start working on my goodbye letters. Over the next few months I'll start working on who gets a letter and what I need and want to say.  I should write a letter for when the kids get older Something like 2027 should work.

I have been making some hard decisions recently and I thought I should share them here.

I like my sleep.  I function better when I've had a good eight hours sleep.  Recently I've only been able to sleep three or four hours each night.

After the first six months of chronic pain, I started to lose the joy. Any and all joy slipped out of my life.

Almost two years for chronic pain. Daily pain that is almost always the worst pain I have ever felt.