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Still Going

My Wonderful Doctor

I feel sorry for my doctor because there isn't anything more that she can do for me.  We have now tried all the medications available and we are trying one more.

I hope that she will know that I appreciate everything she had done for me once I'm gone.  I hope I can find a way to letter know in my letter to her.

All Pain, No Gain

There is plenty of pain, but I'm not seeing the up side. There must be an upside to this pain and I'm talking something other than making me a stronger person.  If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger... well this damn pain is going to kill.  Where is the gain in that?

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A Clear Path

I have had plenty of time to think about this and I now have a clear path. When I'm satisfied that I've tried everything to fix my back, stop the pain, or even find a way to reduce the pain from time to time and still don't have an answer then I'll stop the pain. Taking my own life will be the only option.  I have a few options left and I'm still looking for new things to try.  But I'm almost out of energy. Physio gets a couple more months, I have a pain management clinic to visit and then unless I find something new I'll have to start working on my goodbye letters. Over the next few months I'll start working on who gets a letter and what I need and want to say.  I should write a letter for when the kids get older Something like 2027 should work.
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